An Explanation:

Weasel McPuppy is a real dog, and the posts below are real letters sent from her to celebrities via snail mail. A self-addressed stamped envelope was included with each letter to encourage a reply. If and when Weasel receives a response, the post will be updated with the full correspondence.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

To Stephen King

Dear Mr. King,

You give me the willies. You can take that as a compliment if you wanna.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. I plan to hang it with your face to the wall, because you seriously creep me out.

P.P.S. - All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...

The Reply:

Dear Weasel,

At one time Stephen King answered all his letters personally, however, he came to realize he had to make a choice between answering letters or writing books. Although I'm sure you are disappointed not to receive a personal response, I hope you'll understand and agree he made the right choice. We share fan comments and concerns with him.

Enclosed is a copy of our current autograph policy.

Thank you for your letter. We appreciate your comments.


Margaret S. Morehouse
Administrative Staff Assistant

Also Attached:

Dear Constant Reader,

I will not be autographing books, pictures, book jackets or cards as part of a long range plan to reduce my workload. I do not send out any autographed pictures.


Stephen King


spawn said...

Justin burgess presents

The Pet Sematary 3: the beguinning

eastern egypt 1580 b.c.
the book of the dead, a.k.a. kialou buote lauw was created by the first set of black majisions they carved the ancient rituals of satan into a 6 bricked book, then after words sliting the throat of 66 virgans and marinating the book of the dead in the blood. 23 years later a war broke out, because the book of the dead was a discrase to the human culture. during the war the book was forever lost. 666 years later a tribe of indians known as kiatreass came acrros the book of the dead, but they knew the book was pure and simply evil. so they buried the book in the center of what is now lullined, maine. over the next 66 years a hole nother tribe known as cabottri came to the site were the book was buried and wurshiped the site. they raped and killed 666 virgins and fed their blood to the thirsty ground. they invented the iwigi board to conntact the evil spirits, when they did an evil spirit said beyond the sour ground.
after that the cabottri tribe never visited the burrial site again. and until thais day the burial ground is known as the mic-mac burial ground.

chapter 1: a spooked tale

march 22 1962

it was saturday morning, and as the new york smell just got to me i decided to move to the country. the old country of lullined,maine.
and i just new it would be better, because instead of a bad neighboor hood, and some one always trying to make a fool of you. its just not good. so me and my family - ellen my wife who is turning 43 this summer jazmine my adopted daughter who is 16 years of age and daniel who is 9. my name is ronny wilk and i am 42 yaers old i come a long way with my business called eyecorp. its a multibillion dollar technology corporration. well we've been drivving for about 5 hours and we have still got about 2 1/2 hours to go.
i looked up at the gas monitor and it looks like we are almost empty, so i pulled over at the next gas station called diamond cutter. as i walked into the gas station i told the cashier $90 on tank #2. the cashier rang up the cash register and said my name is todd where are ya headed? i said lullined, maine. the cashier gave me a funny face and said you know theres a little ghost story about that town. i said oh yeah i like ghost stories. todd said they say exactly in the middle of that town is a sematary, a pet sematary. i said yeah so what theres lots of pet semataries around the united states. todd said its not the pet sematary thats going to blow your mind, its the sour ground beyond it. i said what do you mean sour ground? todd said they say if you burry some one there and exactly 3 hours from then they rise from the dead. i said ok, but are they like zombies? todd said worse, zombies have no thinking abillities, these dont move slow they walk normal and think normal, but the catch is they are posessed with the pure evil that exists with in the burial ground. i gave todd my visa credit card and he scanned it and gave it back. i left silenced, and spooked. todd said as i left you becareful now you hear...

as i got back in the car ellen said what was that about? i said oh it was just some old spook tale. ellen said well your sweating all over and you look like it really scared you. i said yeah it did, but its fantasy its fake so theres nothing to worry about..
i started the car and pulled out of the gas station and went on my way.

chapter 2: the maine cause

as we drove into the small town of lullined, maine we saw nothing but the forests and nature.
we pulled into the drive way of our new home. it was a two story 5 bedroom 3 bathroom house
it was a pretty yellow and white collored house. it had a gorage and an empty pool on the side.
as we went in side the nice house we took a look around, i and my wife ellen went up stairs to assighn rooms. jazmine had taken the room next to the pool. deniel took the room up stairs facing the forests. me and ellen took the up stairs room in the back of the house. we didnt have much to move, just about 25 big boxes a few bikes and some holiday stuff. we put all the boxes and holiday supplies in the spare bedroom.

may 23
as i woke up early in the morning i fixed some coffee, and had a bowl of cerial. i sat down on my couch and i looked for the remote for the telivision, but i could not find it... as i looked around a huge black labrador was standing in front of the back door, gralling, and snarling at me, just then a man came running in calling spike, spike, were are you.
oh there you are. the man apologized for the barge in. the man looked to be in his mid to late 40s. the man said hi, my name is jud, jud crandal. i live just across the street down younder with my nephew rick. sorry about my dog startling you it wont happeb again. as he headed towards the back door i said wait, as he turned around i said hey, i dont know any one around here so your the only one do you mind comming over for dinner? jud said sure i aint got nothing else to do. jud said ill bring over rick with me. i said ok that i'll be great, bye. jud left the door and shut it behind him. i thought to my selffor a second about what i was trying to do before jud and his visious dog appered. i scratched my head and then i remembered i was looking for the t.v. remote control. i got up from the couch and looked around. i said hey, hune. ellen said yeah. i said have you seen the remote for the television? ellen said yeah its on top of the book shelf. i said thanks. as i took the remote i sat back on to the couch and turned on the television. i switched the channel to the news. there was a broud cast.

broadcast: earlier yesterday morning a group of kids shot down a sherif in lullined the sherif was 51 year old depudy collin deuke. he was on his break when the group of kids robbed a liqure store. there were 9 eye wittnesses at the scene. as the group of kids ran with the stoled cash two more deputies arrived and shot down 2 of the suspects. the other was brought in his name was simon reese. the two decesed suspects were idenified as robert li. connor and julia styles. later that evening a report sent from the morgue saying that the body of robert li. connor did not come in. soon later a search for his body began. at 10:02pm robert li. connor attact 4 officers and killed 3 but robert was killed for a second time. at this time we connot explain the accurences that have taken place later we will update you questions. this is the 10:00am news.

as i turned the tv off, i sat there on the couch and thought about what the cashier said. that the dead rises from the sour ground. then i thought to my self this cant be real i mean come on people just cant rise from the dead, even if the burial ground is pure evil.
ellen came and said hune? i said yeah. ellen said whats wrong? i said oh nothing just thinking. i said oh by the way im having some guests come over for dinner. ellen looked at me and said guests, already? i said yeah his name is jud hes comming over with his nephew rick for dinner. ellen said ok, cool.

as daniel went into his class for his first day of school, the teacher mrs. kreg said i want every one to say hello to deniel. (HELLO) the sound of the children echoed through out the class room. the teacher gave the students a sheet of paper, and told them to write or draw where you will be when you grow up. deniel started drawing the forrests and the swamps and then the wild animals, then finally the burial ground with a little boy that had the name written above him cage.
after they were done, the teacher mrs. kreg came by to look at theit writtings and drawings. but when she came across daniels drawing, she screemed - (OH MY GOD!!!)

chapter 3: a shocking disturbence
daniel was sent to the office to see the princible. the princible looked at daniels drawing and said who is this cage? daniel said i dont know. the princible said than why did you draw him in this burial ground? daniel said because last night i had a dream about him rising up from the burial ground. the princible said ok, well im affraid im going to have to call you parents.

as i and ellen arrived the princible said i brout you here because your son claims that he had a dream about a boy who died, and rose from the mic - mac burial ground down south of here. i said and why is that a problem? the princible said well, the teacher of his classroom looked at this drawing and then she died. i said how? the princible said well im not even sure, really she was drained of all her fluids. i said drained? like a raisin? the princible said yeah, like a rasin. i said now how the hell is that possible...? the princible said i have no clue. but it happened. just then i said daniel come on we are going home. as we walked out a boy walked by and said hey cool drawing you got there, whats your name? daniel said my name is daniel. and yours. the boy said my name is louis, louis creed. i said hey, daniel we dont have time to chat. come on.
as we entered the car daniel looked at louis and he was in front of the school window, in his reflection was not his own it was gages reflection. then daniel looked back at louis and he was gone. on the way back home, i said hey deniel who was that boy back their? deniel said oh that was louis. isaid how old is he? deniel said um... i dont know, i think hes as old as me.
ellen said i cant belive the damn princible suspended deniel over a fucking drawing. i said hey, hune watch your language our son is in the back seet. but what you said is true, i just cant belive what the princible said, you know about the teacher and the way she died. as we pulled in to the drive way, jazmine came out and said what the hell happened?!! i said oh daniel got suspended. jazmine said over what? i said over a stupid drawing. jazmine said a drawing? i said yeah... a drawing.

i went over to juds house, as i walked up the wooden stairs they squeeked, i got to the front door first i looked into the window to see if he was there, and i saw him watching tv. so then i knocked on the door. jud said hold on... he opened the door and said hey ronny hows it going. i said oh its going good. i said well the reason why i came over here was because i have to cancel that dinner tonight because my son got suspended for 2 days, so any way thats all. then i said hold on, hold on... did you here about those kids that shot down a police officer, and then 2 of the suspects were killed/ jud interupted - and one came back to life, and was killed for a second time. i said yes exactly... you saw that on tv. jud said as a matter of a fact i did. i said well ok then bye. as i walked down the wooden steps i walked back to my house, i opened the front door and shut it as i asked hey hune, whats for dinner. ellen said meat loaf, chease mac, and corn. i said sounds good. as we sat down to eat dinner, deniel said im not hungery. ellen said dont give me that eat your food, this is our first dinner in lullined. as jazmine picked and sortly separrated her food, i said you know earlier today i was watching television and the news was on, there was a robbery not far from here, and 2 cops were killed during the insident 2 of the suspects were shot down, but one of them - robert l connor some how returned to life and killed 3 more officers, but he was killed for a seconed time. right after that there was nothing but silence at the table, until jazmine said so... how do you think he came back to life? daniel said the same way cage returned from the dead. ellen said daniel cage is not real he was just a dream. daniel said then what explains the death of my teacher mrs. kreg. i said i think there might be an explination for all this. ellen said oh come on you dont actually think that the mic - mac burial ground is posessed do you? i said i really dont know, but ive got to find out. ellen said what do you mean find out? i said im going to the mic - mac burial ground.

chapter 4: the happening
i stormed out of the house as ellen came running after me and said its just a fucking ghost story, what dont you undersand about that?! i said ill be back in about 2 hours, then started the car and drove out of the drive way, then shot off. jazmine came out side and said is he serious? ellen sad i guess he is. then they went back inside.
jud came knocking at ellens house, ellen opened the door and said who are you? jud said im jud, ronny's friend. ellen said oh your the guy hes been talking about. jud said yeah, i am. listen wheres ronny? ellen said he stormed out of here about 20 minutes ago. jud said well were did he go? ellen said he went to the mic - mac burial ground. jud said i dont think thats a good idea. ellen said your telling me! jud said no you dont under stand, he'll die out there. ellen said ok will some body tell me what the fuck is going on!!! jud said i took a look on line, searched for cage/mic - mac and you'll never guess what came up. as jud showed them the picture, ellen gasped... oh.. my god. the picture that jud printed out was the exact same picture daniel drew.

mean while
at the morgue 3:30pm
the two mortitions, came across a body, casey said well lets see body count #1 name whitney kreg. as casey took off the sheet he said holy shit what the fuck happened to her?!! the body of whitney kreg was dis - figured and deranged her body was a shit green. todd the other mortition came in and said fuck, she got fucked up. as they turned away to get their tools and utinsils to start the otaupsi, whitney rose straight, turned her head towards the mortitions and said beyond the sour ground. the mortitions turned in fear. casey said what the fuck shes dead, fucking dead. todd said well she sure looks alive to me. whitney got up and bit casey on the neck exposing the juggalar vane, blood spuewed on to the wall, floor, and whitney. todd ran out of the body cellar and into the office, startling the officers. officer davis said what is the big idea, todd said help, the ladie shes not dead, she killed casey. the two officers ran into the body cellar and saw casey dead, on the floor.officer zack pulled out his 357. and said you todd get out of here. officer davis said i go left you go right. as officer zack walked around the corner whitney came from behind him and punched a hole straight through his chest, and pulled out his heart, then she bit into it. officer davis came around the corner and shot her 4 times in the back. as she sqwurmed around on the floor officer davis shot her 3 more times. then officer davis turned on his radio and said rachael this is officer davis im calling in for back up 2340 east lullined city morgue.

mean while
ellen said we have got to get ronny out of there. daniel said now do you believe me? ellen said i am starting to believe. jud said come on i have a truck at my place, come on. as ellen, daniel, and jazmine opened the truck and got in jud went in to his house. ellen said were are you going? jud said im going to get my 12 guage. ellen shut the truck door. jud walked into his trophie room and pulled down his award winning 12 guage shot gun, on the lable it said 450 non - missed shots in a row new world record. he loaded the gun and brought 2 cases of shells. jud came out of his house and got in to his truck and started it, they drove out of the drive way and into the road. they passed the neighboor hood, and into the forests, and beyond the wild. as they drove up to the pet sematary they got out of the truck. and as they walked up to the pet sematary they saw that the spelling on the pet sematary gate was spelled wrong, it was spelled pet semitary. they walked into the sematary, and saw all the tomb stones, just then spike, juds dog came running up with rick. jud said what are you doing, you have to go to work tomorrow. rick, was out of breathe.. once he took a breather he said your dog knows the best way to the mi - mac. they all walked up to a dead end, spike rajn up on to the side of the dead end, they all follwed him. as they got on to the wall they notced that there were about 2 mountains, before they were at the mic - mac.

mean while
i was digging up all the stacked boulders, to see the truth... and see if it reveals the secret to reserrection. as digged and digged and digged i finally found 8 indian skelitons. i could not believe it, i could not belive my eyes. i found the lost secret. i screamed (i've made history!!!)
i stacked the skelitons on top of each other, and sat down to take a drink of home made moon shine. as i drank the moon shine one of the 66 virgans skeliton rose up, and started toward me. then spike came running toward me grawling and snarling, but what i did not realize was that spike was grawling and snarling at the skeliton. i said hold on boy, chill out, boy. just then jud came up and said ronny get down, i said what? jud said get down. as i looked behind me i totally freaked out, and got up and ran towards ud. rick took his russian combo pistol and started firing at the skelitons, but one came from behind rick and bit him on the fore arm. rick screamed in pain. the skeliton ripped away the skin and the tissue. jud ran over there and hit the skeliton in the head with the butt of the gun, then he blew off its head. jud grabbed rick and helped him up, as rick said oh.. my god it hurts. ellen said god damn it ronny see what the fuck you did, you brought hell on to the planet. it started to rain heavily. the other skelitons followed them into the wilderness. spike ran and jumped on to one of the skelitons and bit its arm off, but the skeliton bit spike on to the side of its sternum. then it dropped spike and left him for dead. we ran, and ran, and ran, but soon they were only walking. rick fell on to the floor and said i cant go no further, just leave me here to die. me, and jud picked up rick and carried him away. as they got to the truck they put rick in the bed of the truck, and then got in to the truck and started it, but it wouldnt move, the back tires were stuck in a swamp. i said come on, come on go, go. jud said i cant its stuck. the skelitons were comming closer. jud put it in reverse and then, forward, bouncing over the swamp. then into the woods. i said man that was a close one. ellen said damn ronny you nearly costed us all our lives, how could you, then slapped me. i said im sorry, ellen said dont talk to me, i hate you right now.
we arrived at our house, jud said is it alright if i stay at your house for a little while? ellen said sure why not. rick was on the couch with a bandage over his right fore arm. he wasnt looking so hot. rick said hey can i get a glass of water? ellen said sure ill be right back. ellen gave rick the glass of water and as he drank it he coughed it up. i said how are we going to get out of here? ellen said we wouldnt be in this mess if it werent for you. i said i know its my fault but we cant be fighting eachother, we need to stick togetherand come up with a plan.

chapter 5: infection
may 24
as i woke up i walked down stairs to fix some coffee and i realized i was the only one awake at the time. i went to check ricks wound. as i took off the bandage a sticky guey substance, in the color of yellow came off of the wound. i sais hey, hey comr look at this. jud woke up and said what time is it? i said who gives a fuck, look at this. as he came over and took a look, he said oh my god hes infected. i said infected with what? jud said who knows. ellen came down stairs and said whats all the commotion about? i said hey , ellen come take a look at this. as she took a look she said what is that? ellen said scratch that lets take his vidals. ellen went to get the vidal supplies. as she came back in to the living room she said here, jud take the thermomitor, im going to take his blood pressure first. jud said why dont we take them both at the same time? ellen said, ok great idea.ok, lets see temperature is... impossible... 122 degrees. i said that cant be right, he'd be dead by 110 degrees. here take it again. blood pressure is holy shit... 234 over 209 hes about to pop, literally.. i said we have got to get him to a hospitol quik... ellen said im afraid thats impossible. jud said it damn better be not. ellen said at the rate of his vidals, he'll be dead within minutes.
rick said if i die, and come back... burn me alive. then he just died. jud said no, no oh my god, my own flesh and blood. my own sweat and tears.... gone. jud then looked toward me and said you son of a bitch!!! its all your fault, you killed my nephew. then he picked up his shot gun and pointed it at me and said this is for you rick, then blew my brains all over the wall. ellen put her hands over her face and wiped away my blood then screamed... daniel and jazmine heard the shot so they came down stairs and saw me dead. the screamed ( no my daddy)... jud then pointed the gun at ellen but before he could fire spike came crashing through the window knocking the gun out of juds hands.spike then ran and jumped on ellen bitting her face down into her skull killing her.
jud then picked up his shot gun and pointed it at spike and said im sorry buddy and shot spike in the chest exposing the lungs and heart.
jud then went out of the house to his storage and pulled out the 10 gal. of gassoline and matches. as he went back to the wilk house his nephew rick had rissen from the dead, he said hey, uncle waz - up then laughed in an evil manor.... jud opened the gassoline can and poored iton his dead nephew, and said ill always love you rick. jud poored it on ellens dead body. jud said kids get out, now. daniel and jazmine came running out of the house. jud said get as far away from here as you can. then jud lit a match and said good bye rick, im sorry. then dropped the match and ran out of the house and then turned arouned to see ricks body burn. as he cried he left the scene.

2 weeks later daniel and jazmine were put in foster care. they now live in suvenburry, massechusettes
jud still lives in lullined, maine in the same house. he went back tot he pet sematary to burry his dog spike. he later put up a sighn that leads to the mic - mac burial ground that says do not enter.

sunday 1:34pm
lullined, maine
as jud sits on his front porch in his rocking chair, smoking his pipe, a tan station waggon comes driving by as he watches the station wagon pulls into the drive way of the same house that ronny wilk lived in. the jud notices that the mail box has this labled on it ..........creed.