An Explanation:

Weasel McPuppy is a real dog, and the posts below are real letters sent from her to celebrities via snail mail. A self-addressed stamped envelope was included with each letter to encourage a reply. If and when Weasel receives a response, the post will be updated with the full correspondence.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

To Kool-Aid Man

Dear Mr. Kool-Aid Man,

Please stop bustin' through my fence. I've rebuilt it four times already; and every time I get it finished, some wise guy yells "Hey, Kool-Aid!" I don't think it's very funny.


Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - Please desist. I am neither hot nor thirsty.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. I'd like to have it to show the authorities, should you do any more damage to my property.

The Reply:

Dear Weasel McPuppy,

Thanks for taking the time to let us know about your recent experience.

We always like to acknowledge when customers provide us with information that can help us serve you better.

I'll make sure to forward your information onto the appropriate staff.

Thank you again for taking the time to contact us.

Kim McMiller
Associate Director, Customer Relations
Ref: 18805597Y

A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:

Thanks for the letter. However, if you really wanted to serve me better, you'd put a leash on that anthropomorphic pitcher of yours.



Kristen said...

Form Letter Fail

Weasel McPuppy said...

Considering the type of letters I send out, I consider any response a success.

The Kool-Aid Man! said...

Dear Weasel,

I would like to apologize for bustin' through your fence. Please do not take it personally. You see, I have what they tell me is called "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder". Whenever someone yells "Hey, Kool-Aid", I cant help but to jump through the nearest wall and yell "OH YEAH!". It's mighty inconvenient at times but it is in my nature. I cannot help that i was born a giant pitcher of delicious beverage that compulsively leaps through solid structures.

Anyway, I'll try to stay away from your fence from now on. If you ever need me to help paint your new fence or something... you know how to get ahold of me.

The Kool-Aid Man

Weasel McPuppy said...

Now, that's more like it.