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Dear Bad Santa,
I got bupkis from the real Santa Claus last year, so this year I'm writing you. Please leave a bottle of gin in my stocking. I've been a very good girl this year, so I think I deserve the good stuff.
Happy Holidays,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I'd also like a Fraggle Stick Car.
P.P.S. - If you end up drinkin' the gin yourself, at least send me your picture. I've enclosed my picture.