To Zach Galifianakis

Dear Mr. Galifianakis,

You are super funny! You should be a big star, but you'll never be a household name with a moniker like "Zach Galifianakis." Have you thought about using a stage name? Here are some suggestions:

• Zack Galifianakis
• Jeb Galifianakis
• Biff Galifianakis
• Shecky Galifianakis
• Ignatz Galifianakis
  
• Galifianakis the Great
• Captain Ha-Ha

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - You could always go by "Weirdo Beardo."

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. You can sign it any way you wanna.


The Reply:


My thoughts are with you.

Zach Galifianakis


A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:

Thank you, Mr. Galifianakis, for saying your thoughts are with me. However, since you have some pretty odd thoughts, that may not be entirely good.

Sally Field Responds

I also received a personalized autographed photo from Ms. Sally Field. Yippee!

To read my letter to Ms. Field and her response, click here --> Link

Eartha Kitt Responds

I received two replies today. The first was a very nice autographed picture of Ms. Eartha Kitt.

To see my original letter to Ms. Kitt and the reply, click here --> Link

To Keith Richards

Dear Mr. Richards,

I like your music, but I can't understand a word you say. Please enunciate. Is that so hard?

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - Maybe you should see a speech therapist.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed an autographed picture. Please send me an autographed picture. I sure hope your handwriting is better than your diction.

To Charo

Dear Charo,

What does "cuchi-cuchi" mean? I hope you aren't saying anything dirty.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - You are a great guitar player. You don't need to work blue.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, and try not to write anything dirty on it.


The First Reply:


Dear Loyal Fan,

In regards to your request for an autographed picture of Charo, please send a self-addressed stamped envolope (sic) alon... $35.00 US if we provide the photo ($30.00 US to autograph your photo) PER ITEM, made out to:

Scott stander and Associates Client fund Account.

Indicate where and how you would like it signed.
our address is on the front of this postcard. (It wasn't.) please allow time to process the order.

www.scottstander.com

A Note From Weasel Regarding the First Reply:

Dear Charo,

I can see your booking agent needs to buy spell checking software, but maybe begging money off little doggies isn't the best way to get it. I wish you luck.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - Why did you return my photo? Don't you like pictures of cute doggies?


The Second Reply:

To Weasel,

Love and cuchi-cuchi,

Charo


A Note From Weasel Regarding The Second Reply:

Dear Ms. Charo,

Thank you for the beautiful picture. It was well worth the wait (and the run around from Scott Stander). I knew all along that you weren't the one trying to extort money from a poor little doggy. If you see Mr. Stander, please kick him in the cuchi-cuchis for me.

Love,

Weasel

To Esther Williams

Dear Ms. Williams,

Are you part mermaid? Please let me know. I've got five bucks ridin' on it.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I also like to do water ballet; but they won't let me in the public pool, because I'm a little doggy. I have to practice in a bucket.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, in or out of the water.


The Reply:



A Note From Weasel Regarding the Reply:

Thank you, Ms. Williams for the lovely photo. I'm going to go fill up my bucket and practice some more.

To Doris Day

Dear Ms. Day,

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, "What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?" Here's what she said to me: "Ssh! Mommy's watching her stories. Now, freshen up my drink; will ya, hon?"

Que sera, sera,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I like the romantic comedies you made in the 1960's. You were the original 40-year-old virgin.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. I hear you are very nice to little doggies.


The Reply:


For "Weasel" McPuppy

With my love, a kiss and a hug.

Doris Day

and my "Honey"


A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:

Thank you, Ms. Day. I heard right. You are very nice to little doggies.

To Kim Fields

Dear Tootie,

I really like saying "Tootie."

Tootie, Tootie, Tootie, Tootie.

Tootie, Tootie, Tootie, Tootie, Tootie!

Your Friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - Tootie, Tootie, Tootie!

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. Tootie, Tootie.

To Subway

Dear Subway,

Why are you above ground?

Just wondering,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me a picture of one of your meatball sandwiches. Better yet, just send me one of your meatball sandwiches.

Dame Judi Dench Responds

Today I received a reply from Dame Judi Dench mailed all the way from the England. I'm becoming very international.

To read my letter to Dame Judi and to see her response, click HERE.

HAIRCUT!!!

No letters today.

I got my hair cut.

Ain't I cute?

To Sam Raimi

Dear Mr. Raimi,

I just watched Spider-man 3. I'd like my 139 minutes back. Please invent a time machine or a youth serum or somethin'.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I enjoyed your other movies, even Crimewave. I guess, ya can't win 'em all.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture--maybe one of you sitting in "The Classic."

To Adam West

Dear Batman,

I want to be just like you. I've got a Weaselcave, a Weaselmobile, a Weaselcomputer, and I've got a Weaselcopter on order. All I need is some crime to fight. Do you have any overflow work?

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - You can contact me on the Weaselphone.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, with or without the cowl.

To Lynda Carter

Dear Wonder Woman,

If I had a magic lasso that made people tell the truth, I'd use it on Dick Cheney. Hint, hint.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I can see you when you're flyin' around in your invisible plane. You're not foolin' anybody.

P.P.S. - Please send me your picture. I've enclosed my picture. Do I look like I could be an Amazon?


The Reply:


To Weasel

Love!
Lynda Carter


A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:

Thank you, Ms. Carter, for the lovely picture. If you threw your magic lasso around me, I'd have to admit that you are super cool!

To Geoffrey Rush

Dear Captain Barbossa,

If I had cursed Aztec gold that made me immortal, I'd run for Congress. No term limits! Would you vote for me?

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture and maybe some cursed Aztec gold.


The Reply:


Weasel McPuppy!?

Best wishes,

Geoffrey Rush


A Note From Weasel McPuppy Regarding the Reply:


Two can play at that game, Mr. Rush. Many thanks for your imaginative response. Yarrr!

To Johnny Depp

Dear Mr. Depp,

You are kooky. Some people think that's a good thing; but I wouldn't try gettin' a job in a bank if I were you.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture--the kookier the better.


The Reply:


All good wishes --

Johnny Depp


A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:

Thank you, Mr. Depp. I hope your movies continue to do well, so you don't have to get a job in a bank.

Albert Brooks Responds

I received a reply today from Mr. Albert Brooks. Hooray!

I've updated the original post with his response. To read it, click here--> Link