To Richard Simmons

Dear Mr. Simmons,

The other night I was playin' poker with the rest of the doggies, and we got so drunk we accidentally used a deck of Deal-A-Meal cards. Not only did I win twelve bucks; I lost three pounds!

Thanks,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - That joke would have killed back in 1987.

P.P.S. - Please send me your picture. I've enclosed my picture. You should have seen how I looked before I started 'sweatin' to the oldies.'

To Jim Oberweis

Dear Dairy,

This was supposed to be a diary entry, but I'm slightly dyslexic. Ha, ha.

Actually, I understand you make chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry flavored milk. Have you ever considered making gin-flavored? It would be very popular with little doggies and Liza Minnelli.

Think about it,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - Say "hi" to the cows for me.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture and maybe some gin-flavored milk.


The Reply:



(Blank stationary)

A Note From Weasel Regarding the Reply:

Uh, thanks, Mr. Oberweis... I guess. Do you realize you sent me blank stationary? Ya know, if you didn't want to respond to my letter, you didn't have to send anything.

I can see why you keep losin' elections. You're a weirdo.

Clint Eastwood Responds

I received an autographed picture today from Mr. Clint Eastwood! Hey, if he's "the man with no name," how'd he sign it?

To read my letter to Mr. Eastwood and to see his response, click here-->Link

To Lou Ferrigno

Dear Mr. Hulk,

You are very strong and bulgy. Will you be my friend? You don't smash little doggies; do ya?

Your friend (hopefully),

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - No one stronger than Weasel. Weasel the strongest one there is. Ha, ha.

P.P.S. - Please send me your picture. I've enclosed my picture. What do you think of my muscles?