An Explanation:
Weasel McPuppy is a real dog, and the posts below are real letters sent from her to celebrities via snail mail. A self-addressed stamped envelope was included with each letter to encourage a reply. If and when Weasel receives a response, the post will be updated with the full correspondence.
Dear Mr. Haig,
Don't feel bad that you were rejected by the devil. It might turn out to be a good thing.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - Even though I'm afraid of clowns, I think you're funny. That is, when you're not going on a kill-crazy rampage.
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, in or out of the clown makeup.
Dear Doctor,
Can you take me back in time to the day before my people had me fixed? We need to organize a rescue mission.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - Thank you for saving the Earth from certain doom time and time again. You deserve a vacation (but I hope you don't take one).
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture before you regenerate.
The Reply:
To Weasel,
David Tennant
A Note From Weasel Regarding the Reply:Thank you, Doctor. This will be a nice memento of our adventures. By the way, I'm feeling much friskier now.
Dear Ms. Kitt,
I like to chase kitties. Do you still have the cat suit? Let's play.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. Preferably one of you dressed up like a kitty.
P.P.S. - You were a Kitt cat. Do you like Kit Kats?
The Reply:
A Note From Weasel Regarding the Reply:Thank you, Ms. Kitt! You look very bendy.
I received my first personalized reply today from Mr. Robin Williams.
Mr. Williams, you are okay in my book.
I've updated the original post with the response. You can read it here-->
Link
Dear Ms. Crawford,
You are a pretty lady from DeKalb; but you're not the prettiest lady from DeKalb.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I'm from DeKalb.
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. Then we'll see who's the prettiest.
Dear Mr. Van Dyke,
I would strongly suggest that you avoid ottomans in the future; 'cause at your age you could break a hip.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. It's the least you can do, because I had nightmares after watching the show where you lost your thumbs (and I don't even have thumbs).
The Reply:
Hi Weasel!
God Bless,
Dick Van Dyke
A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:Thank you, Mr. Van Dyke. You'll be glad to know that I no longer have nightmares about you losing your thumbs. Now I have nightmares about a flying saucer that says "Uhny Uftz!"
Dear Mr. Hamilton,
You're becoming more orange as you get older. Are you part Oompa-Loompa?
Just wondering,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - Would it kill ya to sit in the shade every once in a while?
P.P.S. - Please send me your picture. I've enclosed my picture. Do you like my tan?
Dear Mr. Eastwood,
Why do they call you "the man with no name?" I just watched your Spaghetti Western trilogy. In the first one they called you Joe; in the second you were Monco; and in the third you were Blondie. They should call you "the man with three names."
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I didn't see you eatin' any spaghetti either.
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, and don't tell me you can't sign it because you're the man with no name. I'm not buyin' it.
The Reply:
A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:Thank you, Mr. Eastwood. I knew you could sign your picture. You aren't foolin' anyone with that "man with no name" stuff.
I received a letter from Stephen King's office today. I've updated the original post with the reply. To read the response, click on the link-->
Here!
Dear Mr. Mathers,
You are a person named after a semi-aquatic rodent. I am a doggy named after a carnivorous mammal in the genus Mustela. Can we be "animal named after another animal" buddies?
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - At least, I hope you were named after a semi-aquatic rodent.
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, "animal named after another animal" buddy.
Dear Ms. Winfrey,
Do you have siblings named Ohcuorg and Ocihc?
Just wondering,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - What about Oppez?
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture. You can even sign it backwards if you wanna.
Dear Mr. Geller,
I hear you can bend spoons with your mind. I don't get it. Who wants bent spoons?
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, and try not to bend it.
Dear Mr. Bartman,
At least they can't blame you for this one.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I don't blame you for the last one either.
P.P.S. - I'd send you my picture if you weren't still in hiding.
Dear M,
I want to be a naught-naught spy, but I only have one kill. Please give me an assignment.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I'd make a good spy, because who would suspect a little doggy?
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture, if it's not top secret.
The Reply:
To Weasel,
Judi Dench
A Note From Weasel Regarding the Reply:Dame Judi,
Thank you for the photo, but I'd still like that super secret assignment.
--Weasel
No letters today... It's my birthday!
If you feel like getting me a present, I like gin. Please don't ask me my age. A lady never tells.
I have to go now, because Piggy is eying my gin.
Bad Piggy! That's my gin!
Dear Mr. Letterman,
I am a smart pet, and I don't do any tricks. Phooey on you and your televised sideshow.
Your friend,
Weasel McPuppy
P.S. - I like "Stupid Human Tricks."
P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture or double phooey on you.
