I'm a Teenager!

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday dear Weasel,
Happy birthday to me!

I'm thirteen years old today. Beware my terrible teens!

Hugh Hefner Responds

Today I received a reply from Mr. Hugh Hefner. He sure has some snazzy jammies.

To read my letter to Mr. Hefner and to see his reply, click here-->Link

Stephanie Miller Responds

Today I received a reply from radio talk show host and all-around funny gal Stephanie Miller!

To read my letter to Stephanie and to see her response, click here-->Link

To Hugh Hefner

Dear Mr. Hefner,

You should find a nice girl your own age and settle down. I hear Betty White is available.

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - I also like to chase bunnies.

P.P.S. - Please send me your picture. I've enclosed my picture. My photo is for your eyes only. I better not see it printed in your magazine.


The Reply:

Dear Fan,

Due to a heavy workload.[sic] Hugh Hefner is unable to personally sign any autographs at this time. The enclosed photograph has a pre-printed signature.

Thank you,
Office of Hugh M. Hefner

Please call 1-800-423-9494 for a catalog of Playboy products or back issues. Or visit out [sic] website at www.Playboy.com


A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:

Thanks for the picture of the old man in his jammies. I hope part of Mr. Hefner's workload consists of hiring new office staff that are more adept at proofreading.

To Alfred E. Neuman

Dear Mr. Neuman,

You don't appear to have aged a day since 1956. What is the secret of your youthful appearance? Do you bathe in the blood of virgins; or do you have a painting locked in a room that is aging in your place?

Just wondering,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - How many more must suffer due to your incessant lust for youth and fame?

P.P.S. - I am adorable without having struck an unholy bargain with the forces of darkness. I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture.

To Stephanie Miller

Dear Stephanie,

Why are you always making jokes about beavers? I don't get it. I can't think of anything less funny than a beaver. I've tried foolin' around with some, and believe me, beavers are all business. Have you ever managed to amuse a beaver?

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - While I don't think beavers are very funny, I have to admit that some of them smell kinda funny. Ha, ha.

P.P.S. - You are more delightful than any beaver I've ever encountered. Please send me your picture. I've enclosed my picture.


The Reply:


Weasel,

XO

Steph


A Note From Weasel Regarding The Reply:

Steph,

XO
XXO
O X

Tic Tac Toe! I win!

Weasel McPuppy

To Joel McHale

Dear Mr. McHale,

I'm glad you changed the name of your show from Talk Soup to The Soup, 'cause I'm pretty sure that talk soup would taste like spittle. What does your soup taste like?

Your friend,

Weasel McPuppy

P.S. - If you made your soup out of peanut butter, bananas, and French fries, you would make this doggy very happy.

P.P.S. - I've enclosed my picture. Please send me your picture and maybe some peanut butter, banana, and French fry soup.